“Waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over...
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over
She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...

That’s the opening to a haunting song about a woman trapped in an abusive relationship who lies to herself about not being able to find a “Better Man”. It topped the rock charts for several weeks in 1994 for the rock band Pearl Jam.

Looking around at our world it’s heartbreaking to realize how many women are in that position. Desperate for something they settle for just about anything, including cruel and abusive men, having convinced themselves they can’t find, or worse, don’t deserve, a “better man”. Now, knowing that even the best man is imperfect and flawed there is the danger of constantly looking for the impossible, but all men should stand up for the principle that every woman deserves to be treated well by a “better man”. And strive to be a “better man.”

Today’s Morning Minutes in the Bible examines a fascinating text wherein God showed us he was willing to remove a rebellious king and replace him with a “better man”. When Saul tore Samuel’s robe trying to force him to stand beside him Samuel first told him that God was tearing his kingdom away. Saul’s violent attack on Samuel was inexcusable and indefensible. However, it was forgivable, except Saul was not a penitent man.

The second half of Samuel’s statement was that God had “given it to a neighbor of yours who is better than you” (1 Samuel 15:28). The better man was David, who was also imperfect, but was a genuinely penitent man. Saul would not bow before God in genuine sorrow for his sin, he only regretted getting called out. The sad result was the kingdom was torn away from him.

Yet notice how both God and Samuel mourned the loss of the one who refused to become the “better man” “for Samuel grieved over Saul. And the Lord regretted that he had made Saul king over Israel.” (1 Samuel 15:35). It is too bad the translators didn’t use the word grieve, because that’s really what the word translated regret means. God’s heart was breaking over Saul’s stubborn heart. Knowing it was Saul’s choice didn’t make it hurt any less. In the same way the Lord’s heart aches when we aren’t “better men.” Let’s not force God to mourn our loss. Be a “better man” or woman. When we don't repent God’s pain is no less for any of us than it was for Saul