When is it too soon? When (or if) to start dating after the death of a spouse is one of the most difficult and complicated decisions for anyone. That decision is driven by any number of factors that are very personal to each individual, but for all it’s like walking through a minefield. For some the grieving process may be long and arduous and leave no room for a new love, while for others it’s relatively quick, but for all it is filled with emotional upheaval and second guessing (mostly by others) because there’s no standard. Not even the Bible gives the exact length of time for everyone. Everyone has an idea in their mind as to what is “appropriate”, but no one has the right to impose that on another, though we do anyway.

Even though we don’t have any scriptural instruction on the proper length of a mourning period, we all should agree that it was too soon for Bathsheba. The text says that when she learned her husband had died, “she mourned for her husband” (2 Samuel 11:26). It’s assumed by many that it was a period of seven days because the clock was ticking and David had to act before it became too obvious.

As we noted earlier when talking about her part in committing adultery with David it’s impossible to tell from the account if she was an innocent victim of the king’s lust or a deceptive seductress. However, since God didn’t hide David’s sins in this nasty event there would have been no reason to conceal her complicity, but the text simply doesn’t say. Another reason for us to be very careful about shifting blame onto the victim. Clearly David was the one with all the power in this situation. And, the second the mourning period was over David brought her to his house and she became his wife (2 Samuel 11:27).

In one sense it wasn’t a minute too soon because a few months later they had a son. But even if they fooled some people (the ones who couldn’t count) it was too late because it didn’t fool God. Let’s read the second half of 2 Samuel 11:27. “But the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the Lord.” God knew what David had done, and, as the story continues to unfold we will find out David’s family knew it too, with deadly consequences.

One thing you and I can know for sure is this – it’s never too soon to repent and confess our sin before God and be baptized for forgiveness. Let’s quit trying to hide our sin and pretend it will go away, because it won’t until God forgives the penitent heart. Now it may be too late to reverse the earthly consequences, but the sooner we turn to God the sooner we can begin working on the messes we’ve created.